Witch Jokes
Here is a collection of witch jokes for you to enjoy
- Q: Why don’t angry witches ride their brooms?
A: They’re afraid of flying off the handle! - Q: What do witches put on their hair?
A: Scare spray - Q: How does the witch know what time it is?
A: She looks at her witch-watch. - Q: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling! - Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
A: She witch-hiked! - Q: What does a witch kid want for Christmas?
A: A haunted dollhouse. - Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
A: So, they would know which witch is which! - Q: How do witches tell time?
A: With a witch watch. - Q: What do you call two witches living together?
A: Broom-mates. - Q: What does a witch ask for when she is in a hotel?
A: Broom service. - Q: What did one witch say to other when she asked for a lift?
A: “There’s always broom for one more.” - Q: When do witches cook their victims?
A: On Fry Day. - Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A: A sand-witch. - Q: What do you call a motorbike that belongs to a witch?
A: A brrrooooommmm stick - Q: Who was the most famous witch detective?
A: Warlock Holmes - Q: What do they teach in witching school?
A: Spelling. - Q: Why does a witch ride a broom?
A:Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord. - Q: What do you call a witch’s garage?
A:A broom closet. - Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
A:She witch-hiked! - Q: What do witches eat at Halloween ?
A:Spooketti, halloweenies, devils
food cake and booberry pie ! - Q: What story do little witches like to hear at bedtime ?
A:Ghoul deluxe and the three scares ! - Q: How does a witch tell the time ?
A:With a witch watch ! - Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the washing machine ?
A:She wanted a clean sweep ! - Q: What do you call two witches that share a room ?
A:Broom mates ! - Q: What noise does a witch’s breakfast cereal make ?
A:Snap, cackle and pop ! - Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called ?
A:An itchy witchy ! - Q: What’s a cold, evil candle called ?
A:The wicked wick of the north ! - Q: What is evil, ugly and black and goes round and round ?
A:A witch in a revolving door ! - Q: What is evil and ugly on the inside and green on the outside ?
A:A witch dressed as a cucumber ! - Q: What happens if you see twin witches ?
A:You won’t be able to see which witch is witch ! - Q: Why did the witch give up fortune telling ?
A:There was no future in it ! - Q: Why did the baby witch smile when she came out in blotches ?
A:Because it was an ‘appy rash ! - Q: What does a witch get if she is a poor traveller ?
A:Broom sick ! - Q: How did the witch almost lose her baby ?
A:She didn’t take it far enough into the woods ! - Q: Why did the stupid witch keep her clothes in the fridge ?
A:She liked to have something cool to slip into in the evenings ! - Q: Where did the witch get her furniture ?
A:From the ideal gnome exhibition ! - Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the wash ?
A:She wanted a clean sweep ! - Q: What has six legs and flies ?
A witch giving her cat a ride ! - Q: What has handles and flies ?
A: A witch in a dustbin ! - Q: What is evil and ugly and bounces ?
A: A witch on a trampoline ! - Q: What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital ?
A: With any luck you’ll soon be well enough to get up for a spell ! - Q: What do witches race on ?
A: Vroomsticks ! - Q: Why do witches scratch themselves all the time ?
A: Because they’re the only ones who know where a witch itches ! - Q: Why did the witch wear a green felt pointy hat ?
A: So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen ! - Q: How can you tell when a witch is really ugly ?
A: When a wasp stings her it closes his eyes ! - Q: Why did the witch go over the mountain ?
A: Because she couldn’t go under it ! - Q: How do witches tell the time ?
A: By looking at their witch watches ! - Q: What’s the best way of talking to a warty witch ?
A: By telephone ! - Q: How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one ?
A: By her suntan ! - Q: What is evil, ugly and goes at 125 mph ?
A: A witch on a high speed train ! - Q: How is the witches team doing ?
A: They’re having a spell in the first division ! - Q: Have you heard about the good weather witch ?
A: She’s forecasting sunny spells ! - Q: What did one witch say to another when they left the cinema ?
A: Do you want to walk home or shall we take the broom ! - Q: What is a witches favourite book?
A: Broom at the top ! - Q: What’s the witches favourite pop group?
A: Broomski Beat ! - Q: What makes more noise than an angry witch?
A: Two angry witches ! - Q: What’s the best way of seeing a witch?
A: On the television ! - Q: What did the witch write in her Christmas card?
A: Best vicious of the season ! - Q: What do you get if you cross a flea and a witch?
A: Very worried dogs ! - Q: What do little witches like to play at school?
A: Bat’s cradle ! - Q: What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?
A: Every time she sneezed her hat blew off ! - Q: What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV host?
A: The producer said that she had the perfect face for radio ! - Q: What kind of music do witches play on the piano?
A: Hag-time ! - Q: What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends?
A: A witch with a blindfold ! - Q: Why did the witch join the football club?
A: Because she heard they were looking for a new sweeper ! - Q: What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites?
A: Don’t bite any witches ! - Q: What should you expect if you drop in on a witches home unexpectedly?
A: Pot luck ! - Q: What do witches sing at Christmas?
A: “Deck the halls with poison ivy….”
! - Q: What is old, ugly and blue?
A: A witch holding it’s breath ! - Q: What do you call a witch that climbs up walls?
A: Ivy ! - Q: Why was the witch late for the party?
A: She’d lost her witch-watch ! - Q: What do you call a witch with one leg?
A: Eileen ! - Q: What is old and ugly and goes beep beep?
A: A witch in a traffic jam ! - Q: Why is a witch like a candle?
A: They are both wicked ! - Q: Why did the witch keep turning into Mickey Mouse?
A: She kept having Disney spells ! - Q: Why did the witch wear yellow stockings?
A: Because her grey ones were at the cleaners ! - Q: What goes cackle, cackle, squelch, squelch?
A: A witch in soggy shoes ! - Q: What usually runs in witches’ families?
A: Noses ! - Q: What goes cackle, cackle, boom?
A: A witch in a minefield ! - Q: What happens to witches when it rains?
A: They get wet ! - Q: What is black, old & ugly and has four wheels?
A: A witch on a skateboard ! - Q: What do you call an old hag that lives by the sea?
A: A sandwitch ! - Q: What is the difference between a musician and a dead witch?
A: One composes and the other decomposes ! - Q: What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch?
A: A bird that’s ugly but doesn’t give a hoot ! - Q: Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist?
A: Because she thought everybody loved her ! - Q: Why won’t a witch wear a flat hat?
A: Because there is no point in it ! - Q: What do you call a witch that stays out all night?
A: A fresh air freak ! - Q: What do you get if you cross a witch and an iceberg?
A: A cold spell ! - Q: Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
A: Because there are so many witches sweeping the sky ! - Q: What do you call a witch by the side of the road with her thumb out?
A: A witchhiker ! - Q: What is the favourite subject of young witches at school?
A: Spelling ! - Q: Why did the witch consult an astrologer?
A: She wanted to know her horror-scope ! - Q: What is the difference between a witch and the letters M A K E S?
A: One make spells and the other spell makes ! - Q: What do little witches do after school?
A: Their gnomework ! - Q: Why do witches ride on broomsticks?
A: Because it’s quicker than walking ! - Q: What’s a witches favourite film?
A: My Fear Lady ! - Q: What do witches say when they overtake each other?
A: Broom, broom, broom ! - Q: Why do witches get good bargains?
A: Because they like to haggle ! - Q: What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
A: One’s a hunted stag and the other is a stunted hag ! - Q: Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters?
A: She had never learnt to spell properly ! - Q: What goes cackle, cackle, bonk?
A: A witch laughing her head off ! - Q: What are baby witches called?
A: Halloweenies ! - Q: What do you call a witches motor bike?
A: A baaaarrrroooooooommmm stick ! - Q: How can you tell if a witch has a glass eye?
A: When it comes out in conversation ! - Q: What is the witches motto?
A: We came, we saw, we conjured ! - Q: What happens to a witch when she loses her temper while riding her
broom?
A: She flies off the handle ! - Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away the “w” ! - Q: What do you call a nervous witch?
A: A twitch ! - Q: What kind of tests do they give in witch school?
A: Hex-aminations ! - Q: What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
A: A very witch person ! - Q: How do witches on broomsticks drink their tea?
A: Out of flying saucers ! - Q: What do witches ring for in a hotel?
A: B-room service ! - Q: Who’s the fastest witch?
A: The ones that ride on a vroom stick ! - Q: Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy ! - Q: What kind of jewellry do warty witches wear on their wrists?
A: Charm bracelets ! - Q: Why didn’t the witch sing at the concert?
A: Because she had a frog in her throat ! - Q: What do you call a witch Who drives really badly?
A: A road hag ! - Q: What should you do if you find a witch in your bed?
A: Run ! - Q: What happened to the naughtly little witch at school?
A: She was ex-spelled ! - Q: Why did the witch buy two tickets to the zoo?
A: One to get in and one to get out ! - Q: What sound does a witch make when she cries?
A: “Brew-hoo, Brew-hoo” ! - Q: Why should men beware of beautiful witches?
A: They’ll sweep them off their feet ! - Q: Is it true that a witch won’t hurt you if you run away from her?
A: It all depends on how fast you run ! - Q: How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
A: She holds the pan and gets 2 friends to make the stove shake with
fright ! - Q: How do you make a witch float?
A: Blend two scoops of ice cream, and one witch! - Q: What does a witch enjoy cooking most?
A: Gnomelettes ! - Q: When can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb?
A: You can hear their brooms tick ! - Q: How do warty witches keep their hair out of place?
A: With scare spray ! - Q: What do you call a pretty and friendly witch?
A: failure ! - Q: Why are witches fingernails never longer than 11 inches?
A: Because if they were 12 inches they’d be a foot ! - Q: What do you do if a witch in a pointy hat sits in front of you at the
cinema?
A: Miss most of the film ! - Q: Why is a witches face like a million dollars?
A: It’s all green and wrinkly ! - Q: What’s evil and ugly and goes up and down all day?
A: A witch stuck in a elevator ! - Q: What do you call a witch you likes the beach but is scared of the
water?
A: A chicken sandwitch ! - Q: Who went into a witche’s den and came out alive?
A: The witch ! - Q: What do you call two witches who share a broom sticks?
A: Broom mates ! - Q: What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?
A: To keep their hats pointed ! - Q: Why do witches only ride their brooms after dark?
A: That’s the time to go to sweep ! - Q: What did the witch say to the ugly toad?
A: “I’d put a curse on you but it looks like someone beat me to it” ! - Q: Whats the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin?
A: Ever tried broomstick pie?
! - Q: What’s the best advice you can give to a witch on a broomstick?
A: Don’t fly off the handle ! - Q: What did the young witch say to her mother?
A: Can I have the keys to the broom tonight ! - Q: Why do witches wear pointy black hats?
A: To keep their heads warm ! - Q: Why are black cats such good singers?
A: They’re very mewsical ! - Q: When is it unlucky to see a black cat?
A: When your a mouse ! - Q: What do you get if you cross a witches cat with Father Christmas?
A: Santa Claws ! - Q: What do witches cats like for breakfast?
A: Mice krispies ! - Q: What do you get if you cross a witches cat with a canary?
A: A peeping tom ! - Q: What do you call it when a witches cat falls off a broomstick?
A: A catastrophe ! - Q: Why did the witch feed her cat with pennies?
A: She wanted to put some money in the kitty ! - Q: What did the black cat say to the fish?
A: I’ve got a bone to pick with you ! - Q: What do you call a witches cat that drinks vinegar?
A: A sour puss ! - Q: What do you call a witches cat with no legs?
A: Anything you like, she won’t be able to chase you ! - Q: What do you get if you cross a witches cat and a canary?
A: A cat with a full tummy ! - Q: What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass?
A: A lawn miaower ! - Q: What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and goes round and round?
A: A black cat stuck in a clothes dryer ! - Q: What did the black cat do when its tail got cut off in an accident?
A: He went to a retail store ! - Q: What do witches cats strive for?
A: Purrfection ! - Q: What is a little witch’s favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling! - Q: Which story do all little witches love to hear at bedtime?
A: “Ghoul Deluxe and the Three Scares.”